What do you think is the single most important element of getting a job?

Right, attitude.

So—huh? What? Did you say “résumé ?”

You think the résumé  is the most important part of getting a job?

Oh, I see…

OK, let’s back up.

All the way to the beginning.

Getting a job vs. looking for a job.

Right now, here at the very beginning, you need to make a decision: are you interested in looking for a job, or getting one? This is important because these are very different things.

The job search follows a clear process:

1. You find an opportunity by searching information organizations make available about open positions.
2. You apply for the open position by submitting a cover letter and résumé .
3. If you make the cut, You go through one or more interviews.
4. If you make the cut, You receive an offer, and maybe negotiate it.
5. If you make the cut, You accept the offer.
6. If no one gets cold feet, You start work.

This is the job search process. Getting a job through this process is a happy accident, not a forgone conclusion. And in this process, the résumé  gets top billing, because it’s the wedge you use to try to get yourself in the door.

The job getting process looks different. For one thing, the job getting process is non-linear. That right there is going to scare the pants off a lot of people who like their worlds nice and orderly. For another thing, in the job getting process, your résumé —along with all your other materials—are merely representations of the product you’re selling, to be used like any glossy “marketing collateral.” That is to say, they should be used only if necessary to capture someone’s attention, and dismissed as quickly as possible in favor of a discussion of the real goods, a.k.a., YOU. Here, at a high level, is what the job getting process looks like:

1. A connection is made between yourself and someone at a company.
2. Someone—either you or your connection—takes the initiative to inquire about needs.
3. Both sides are open enough to share enough information to get both sides to realize that further, more directed talks would be a good idea, but not so much information that either side looks desperate or naïve.
4. During subsequent conversations, needs and wants are more clearly articulated. Someone—either you or your connection—identify what the relationship should be, and figure out who needs to be involved to make a decision. (If you’re thinking this sounds like a waste of time—you want a job, and the decision makers are the hiring manager and HR, then you’re forgetting something: this is a non-linear process! You could be looking at a consulting arrangement or project work, or maybe you’re not a good fit for the organization but the person you’re talking to knows of another job at another company that you’d be perfect for.) It is somewhere during this step when the résumé  is presented.
5. Work begins. You start to do something of value for your connection: a bit of research, bringing a potential deal to the table, writing a piece of code you think could solve a problem for them… something.
6. A deal is negotiated.
7. Formal work begins.

It doesn’t matter what level you are. It doesn’t matter how old you are. This is the job getting process. Applicant tracking systems, résumé /cover letters, phone screens, etc., are all tools to help organizations streamline their role in this process. These are tools organizations need because they often have scores of people trying to engage them in this process at the same time, and they need some way to manage the resulting chaos.

But make no mistake: this is the process of job getting.

If you hold the attitude of job getting in your head, you will be far more likely to be successful in how you network, how you putt together a résumé , how you write that email. You will be better prepared to interpret unclear feedback, respond to unanticipated objections, and work around roadblocks. You will project an attitude of success that will differentiate you from others who project desperation. And best of all, you will be focused on the desired result instead of the process—which, by the way, is exactly the mindset your prospective employer is looking for.

For these reasons, in this course, we start with your attitude… with what’s going on “upstairs.” Once your head is in the right place, then we circle back to the critical skills you need to get a job. Not résumé  writing—that’s not a skill, that’s an application of a skill—but real skills, including creative thinking, research, communication, and sales—oh yeah, and one more skill that you won’t realize that you’ve learned until after you’ve completed the course.

HOMEWORK

(1) Sign up for the rest of the program. (2) Get out there and get that job!

For example, if I tell you I’m a high energy guy, but I’m slouching and yawning when I say it, something won’t sit right with you. Similarly, if I tell you that my strength is in focusing for extended periods to solve tough problems, but during the interview I’m continuously bouncing from topic to topic, that focus comment won’t jibe for you. Everything about you in the interview—what you say, what you do, how you say things—has to be in concert.

If you read the blog posts above, you’ll find tips on how to create this type of congruency for some of the most important job skills employers look for, including loyalty, passion, ability to handle ambiguity, and decisiveness. Here, I’m going to give you 1 overriding tip that will help you plan for and ace any interview.

This tip is so simple, most people overlook it. And it’s so true, as soon as you read it, you’ll get it. Ready? Here it is…

Seiden’s 1 Tip for Acing a Job Interview:

1. Think about the next conversation you want to have after the interview with the employer, and conduct yourself during the interview in a way that sets up that subsequent conversation.

What most people forget when stepping into a job interview is that the interview is not just a screening process but also a social interaction that has to flow smoothly. How do we forget this?! We go through the same exact process when it comes to dating, and in that area, we are acutely aware of the importance of the social element of the interaction! How many people do you know who have been on dates and then come back and said something to the effect of, “Smart, good looking, reasonably successful… and totally annoying.”

When we forget that prospective employers are going through the same type of thought process in our job interview, we tend to talk too much about our skills and abilities in an effort to prove ourselves. Which is like going on a date and talking about ourselves. Is there a guy on the planet who hasn’t made this mistake? Brutal.

Just like on a date, solve the other person’s problem. Don’t hide your skills, but let them draw things out. And while the other side is asking about you, what do you do? Sit and wait for the next question? No! You return volley and ask about his or her needs! You offer to help! You swap stories!

You make it easy for them to say, “I’m glad we met. I want to see you again.”

HOMEWORK

Based on my own experiences (like this one), as well as experiences shared with me by others, here are 10 tips I can offer for the best way to reach out to others for employment.

1. Stay in control. If you cold call to ask about open positions, you are completely at the mercy of my mood. If I happen to be thinking about my needs relative to the role you are seeking to play, or if I’m feeling charitable, maybe we’ll talk. If I’m busy, I’m deleting your email before I’ve read the first line, and I’m certainly double 7’ing your voicemail message without calling you back. It’s not that I want to be rude, it’s that I didn’t ask for you to contact me, so I don’t feel obligated to respond.
2. Play the game. If we meet and, after learning that you’re looking for a job, I ask for a specific piece of information that cannot be found on your résumé , don’t respond with your résumé . Have enough confidence in yourself to play the game! On the dating scene, you don’t move straight from “Hi!” to “Let’s hang out!” There is a space in between that is filled with courtship. Your emails to a prospective employer should demonstrate that you know how to fill that space in a professional context. Don’t get pushy.
3. KISSASS. When it comes to electronic communications, we go beyond Keep It Simple, Stupid. We go to Keep It Stupid Short And Stupid Simple. Especially if you’re reaching out to an executive, expect your email to be first seen on a PDA. Get to the point, get there fast, and get out.
4. Be concise. Know what you want, and what I need to say yes to your request. You send me a detailed email, a separate cover letter in an attachment, and your résumé . It’s about four pages of material all told. Hi, have we met? I’m one of the 300 million Americans suffering from information overload. You’re not helping. In fact, what I know about you from your attachment-laden document is that if you worked for me, and I asked you what time it was, you’d give me the time buried in a thick explanation of how a watch works. In other words, I don’t have time for you.
5. Use LinkedIn wisely. Please, be helpful, creative, and confident. Please. If you just burned a connection to ask me if you can send me your résumé , or worse, if you burned a connection to send me 6 paragraphs about your technical skills and an inquiry as to any open positions I might have or might know about, I’m going to be depressed for you. Don’t make me sad. I want to feel good.
6. Think for yourself. I’ve heard the story about the person who sent a shoe to a prospective employer along with a clever note about having a foot in the door. I’ve heard about champagne sent in anticipation of a hire worth celebrating about. Don’t copy someone else. Be yourself. Stunts like those are expensive, risky, and better be attached to a highly charismatic individual who can “pull them off.” Frankly, if you were the kind of person who could pull them off, you wouldn’t need to read an article to get the idea.
7. Stay on top of things. I get lazy, distracted, and forgetful. And it’s your future at stake. So if you’re not sure where you stand, you own the follow up. Don’t be annoying, but if you do it right, I won’t begrudge you managing your own future. In fact, I’ll appreciate it.
8. Don’t be lazy; mail merge is not your friend. I once got an email to “Dear Recruiter.” It was from a college senior at a great school who wanted an internship. My reply was, in part, “…if you didn’t have the energy to address your email to me—and my name is the name of my firm, you didn’t even have to look it up, for crying out loud—then I don’t have the energy for your application.” Get the message here?
9. Get comfortable with non-linear communications. I don’t care about you and your job search, I’ve got my own problems. So if you want me to care about you, you have to earn that by first becoming someone I want to care about. And you know who I care about? I care about people who care about me. Who solve my problems. And by problems, I don’t necessarily means what I’m dealing with in my business! It could be choosing a college for my kids. Or dealing with weekly international travel. Or taking care of ailing parents. There is no shortage of ways you can help me—starting with something as simple as sending me an article relevant to my life. What you cannot expect is to be able to come to me expecting to need job, talk about needing a job, moving to an interview, and then getting a job. All that will happen… but with a whole lot of circuitous motion and other “stuff” thrown in.
10. Match your tone to the medium. Please don’t send me a formal email. I haven’t the time. Don’t be sloppy, don’t skip out on punctuation, don’t tell me I’ll “ROFL when I c yr rez.” But don’t just as you wouldn’t wear a tux to a BBQ, don’t be too formal in your emails, either.

HOMEWORK

If you are going to use email, LinkedIn, and other forms of communication well, then you need to walk a mile in my shoes first, and understand what I expect of each channel and the people who reach out to me through those channels. You need to put your fears about what to say to rest, and you do that by improving your understanding of the situation.

But how?

You do this by thinking like a recipient rather than a sender. It’s easier than you think… because you ARE a recipient. Don’t you have habits to help you screen emails? What do you do when you get a note from someone you don’t know?

Which ones do you automatically delete? Which do you read? Which do you act on?

Why?

Here’s a simple way to start writing better messages:

1. Set up a second email address if you don’t already have one.
2. Write your message—whatever it is.
3. Send your message to your 2nd email address.
4. ALSO turn on auto-forwarding so that copies of all the messages you receive get sent to your new email address. If that’s too technical for you, just SEND 20-30 other emails from your email inbox. Forward one or two, but for most of them, cut and paste into blank emails. You want the new email inbox to look authentic.
5. Wait at least 6 hours.
6. Go check your new email, and ask yourself: (1) Did your note pass the spam filter? (2) Is the subject line compelling?  And (3) When you open message after message, does your message to yourself feel right? Or does it stick out like a sore thumb?
7. Refine, resend, review until you are happy.
8. Send the message for real.

The most ironic thing about mastering your ability to network with others is that many people try to learn to do it alone in front of their computers.

The best networkers are those who can quickly and accurately assess other people’s needs and figure out how to address those needs… skills developed by interacting and practicing with others.

(OK, OK. that’s not entirely true. Part of how you improve your dealings with others is to improve your self-awareness and comfort with yourself.)

But in yet another ironic twist, you can probably learn more about yourself, faster by hanging around other people than hanging out alone, meditating. Why? Because people are born self-delusional. Our egos make liars out of all of us. (Proof: study after study confirms the “Lake Woebegon” effect, where about 85% of people see themselves as above average—a statistical and definitional impossibility. For the record, only 50% of any group can be above average.) Hanging out with others will provide you with the feedback you need to pierce your self-delusions and figure out how others see you, which will give you a pretty big clue as to who you are.

But wait! Shouldn’t you not care what others think of you? Ultimately, yes, but since you need them to accept you, it helps to be accepted for who you are. And, so, if their feedback is off, then you know that the image you project does not match the image they have of you. So, you change your behavior. Or acknowledge that maybe you’re self-delusional. Either one is good.

I’ve had clients tell me that implementing this practice makes them worry about becoming politicians. They don’t want to be so attuned to what others think of them. To which I say, that’s right. You don’t care what others think of you. But you care a lot about what you can learn from their feedback about how you are projecting yourself and whether or not your ego is lying to you. (Ever watch American Idol and think to yourself, “Honey, it’s great you believe in yourself, but you really, really should listen to Simon on this one… and get a day job?”) Listening for feedback and processing it will improve your self-awareness, improve your comfort with yourself, align your self-image with the image you project, and help you network more successfully for jobs that are good matches for your abilities.

So get out there and mix it up with folks! You might be surprised at what you learn…

(PS—Yeah, I know you can socialize online. But since you’re considering taking this course, I’m going to assume a level of online aptitude. I want you ready for when you meet your prospective employer face-to-face.)

HOMEWORK!!!

1. Take a sheet of paper and put a line down the middle, top to bottom, and another line about ½ an inch in from the right margin, also top to bottom. Across the top of the left column, write, “If I were…” Start writing. Fill that column top to bottom with things that you would like to believe are true about yourself. For instance, my list might include:
   -a good consultant
   -a good salesman
   -a good writer
   -a good husband
   -etc.
   (You can take your time with this and do it over multiple sittings.)
2. Atop the big middle column, write, “…then people would…” and fill this column with how other people would act around you if the item in the left column were true. For example, my list might look like this:
   

   If I were…	…people would know it because…
   -a good consultant	…Clients would not hesitate to write LinkedIn recs when asked.
   -a good salesman	…people would be buying my services.
   -a good writer	…people would be recommending my books and blogs to others.
   -a good husband	…my wife would be completely at ease.

3. In the final column, put the header “% True” and then assign a value to how much reality matches what you think should be true. This part is the tough part, and I recommend you do it privately at first. See the example below. What you will find is that you can quickly see the next step in your development evolution:
   

   If I were…	…people would know it because…	% True
   -a good consultant	…Clients would not hesitate to write LinkedIn recs when asked.	?% true
   -a good salesman	…people would be buying my services.	?% true
   -a good writer	…people would be recommending my books and blogs to others.	?% true
   -a good husband	…my wife would be completely at ease.	?% true

4. Pick one or two of the items from your list to focus on. On a different sheet of paper, write down why you think there is a gap in the “% True” column—in other words, write down why you think you are not at 100% True. Identify one or two specific behaviors that you think, if you were to change them, could positively impact your ability in those areas. Make the change, and then watch how people treat you when you engage with them. Use the feedback to improve your self-awareness and self-comfort.
5. Surprise bonus! If you do this exercise, you will have improved the way you network with others without ever consciously thinking about networking. For you introverts out there, that’s a pretty sweet deal, wouldn’t you say?!

That’s it.

It doesn’t make you friends, open doors, or get you the job. In fact, the résumé can’t do anything except one thing: it can get you cut. As in, if it’s not perfect, if it has a typo, or if it’s missing the particular phrase someone has in mind for the position, you’re out.

So, I’m wondering, because I know perfecting this document is where most people spend the majority of their job-seeking energy, why divert so much time from things that can help you move forward and spend it on something that can only help you stay in the game?

Have you ever bought a car? How much time did you spend studying the list of standard features? How much of your decision was based on the glossy? Haven’t you ever seen a glossy and thought, “Great glossy, too bad the product is crap. If they spent a fraction of their marketing budget on product development, they’d be dangerous!” (Like in Apple’s Bean Counter spot.)

Your résumé is a list of features. A marketing glossy. Nobody but you really cares about it because it’s about you, not them, and what they care about isn’t you, but them. They’d rather be looking at their own résumés! Once people see that your résumé generally fits their mental model of what they expect, and has no fatal flaws, they’re done with it. The problem is, the résumé often becomes all-consuming for the one person most interested in the subject matter: the person whose name is at the top.

To keep from getting captured by the “résumé time suck,” remind yourself frequently to treat your résumé like a sales glossy. As much as possible, have other people help you shape it; they’ll be far less likely to spend hours agonizing over whether the first word in a line should be “Facilitated” or “Helped” or “Assisted,” meaning you’ll have more time to improve what really counts: the underlying product.

Generally, you’ll want a résumé that’s as short as possible while still being complete, easy to read, and easy to understand by a human, for when you work your way into an opportunity through a connection. Your résumé should be short on jargon. In addition, for each position you apply to, you’ll want a customized résumé that is stocked with the relevant buzzwords to survive being scanned by a machine, and that emphasizes the wording of the job description. That’s a different résumé for each application.

A few tips:

• Own your story. Never be defensive about your past. There is power in being able to tell someone, “Team player? C’mon, I was low man on the totem pole for 2 years. What kind of projects do you think I got?! Yes, I know what it means to support the team.”
• Got a hole? Let it be. If you try to hide it, the message to potential employers is that you are the kind of person who tries to paper over your mistakes. The excuse doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that you have one that’s the problem. I’d much rather hear you say, “I was a goof-off, and I paid the price for it when the economy went south… and I’m a changed person now” than try to explain away the situation. At least this way I know you’re a stand up individual.
• Tell me what makes you special. This doesn’t mean rehash your job description, and certainly don’t lie or inflate your last job! Because guess what: I’ve had your job, or something close to it. I can spot the low man on the totem pole. I also know that no two people do the same job quite the same way… so I want to know what’s unique about you. Were you the glue that kept the team together? Can you get your coworkers to call in proactive references? Are you fast? Reliable? Willing to do the grunt work without complaint? How many burgers did you flip in an hour—are you the type to keep count? What accomplishment are you proudest of?

Strengths Documents: Beyond the Résumé

Got more to say than fits on your résumé? Invent a new document. Call it your strengths document, if you must. Use it to facilitate  networking connections and to move the job getting process forward. (Remember, the résumé doesn’t move things forward, it only prevents them from sliding backward.)

Ever ask someone to take a look at your résumé? How silly: (1) it puts the other person in control of the situation, (2) it elevates the process of exchanging the résumé above the results of solving a problem, and (3) it’s socially awkward. The social equivalent of “can I send you my résumé” is “Hey, can I send you a letter explaining why I’m a great person to hang out with?”

Tell your connection that you think you can help solve his or her problem, and back up your claim with your strength document. A strength document is not a formal document. In fact, you’re going to make it up. As such, it has no defined format. It can be anything from a stylized version of your résumé to a block of code to a grid of past jobs and your accomplishments from each to a list of references to something no one’s ever seen before.

I know you don’t like ambiguity, and you want more direction than that. Sorry, Charlie, but I can’t give you more direction… because one of the skills I’m hiring for is the ability to take action in the face of uncertainty. If I tell you more, then I won’t get to see how you handle the uncertainty inherent in the hiring process!

HOMEWORK

Create your own strengths document. I know you want a model to use… resist the desire to copy from a formula! This is a document you are creating to showcase your skills… and more than that, your ability to communicate those skills! The very skill you most want to demonstrate to a prospective employer—beyond your ability to do the job—is your ability to go beyond the job, right? Well, here’s your chance to show off those skills! Watch the video and create your very own strengths document… but be forewarned: the instructions are loose, and there is no model to copy from. This is on purpose. This gives you a chance to show someone how you can both do the job (in this case, create a resume) and go beyond the job (in this case, recognize where the resume falls short and figure out how to plug the gap… all by yourself). Take a risk, and have fun!

If you’re bold enough, post a draft. Time permitting, I’ll take a look and offer some quick comments…